Unify
完整
吳星瑩
.
「我是茶,也是茶杯,充滿自己,承接自己。」
~《內在森林》小葉欖仁植物誌~
「我坦然需要,然後,坦然給予自己。
不需要完美,我需要完整。」~《蒔:心靈時曆‧時映》
.
我把所有不敢承認的,都壓抑下來。
壓抑看似有效,卻如影隨形著反彈。我只能也壓抑著反彈。
直到我發現自己越來越無力,越來越無法動彈。
因為,我把所有的力量,都用來和自己對抗了。
直到我越來越找不到自己,因為,我把那些自己都當作敵人了,我拚命驅逐著自己。
我不允許自己擁有的,我都期待你來滿足,我都渴望你能補償。你卻從無法帶回給我,長久被我遺棄的自己。
我所缺憾的,從來都只有我能療癒。始終只有我能當自己的醫生,只要我不再用手術刀傷害自己,也不再用繃帶束縛自己。
當我懂得如何犀利,我才終於懂得如何溫柔。
.
I've been suppressing emotions I don't want to feel.
The suppression always works, with the rebound though. I can only try to bottle all up inside me.
Hardly am I able to stir anymore, with the bottle stuffed full.
Almost all my strength has been spent on resisting myself.
Hardly am I able to feel myself anymore, for I look on myself as enemies to deport.
I feel both choked and hollow inside. But you can never save me from depression due to my own suppression.
You can never heal my wounds, only if I don't cut myself with the scalpel, yet not chain myself with the bandage anymore. I learn to be my own doctor properly.
Using both the sharp and the gentle side appropriately, I unify myself.
.
5 days after Grain in Ear: Integrating
KEYWORD
by Singing Wu
by Singing Wu
.
.
.