Thoughtful
體貼
吳星瑩
.
「『早就聽說妳漂亮能幹又賢慧貼心，果然名不虛傳呢！』」
～《內在森林》龍眼花植物誌～
「你聽見的是哪個我？委婉成熟，總是知所進退，還是怯懦忍讓，常常弄丟聲音的我？
你還會喜歡我嗎？如果你聽見，我心中，從來不曾說出的自己？」～《蒔：心靈時曆‧時映》
.
是否越體貼的人，越難被別人體貼？
從不勉強你，卻總被你隨意勉強。也許你並非不體貼我，只是從未發現我的難過？
是否，因為我從未說出我需要？是否，不是我不說出口，是我從未察覺自己也需要？沒察覺我一直需要被你在乎，如我在乎你？
原來，最忽略自己，最勉強自己的是我。
可是，要我再也不體貼別人，也是一種勉強。
我只需要練習，把體貼自己養成一種習慣。好好放任自己，拒絕別人。別人不快樂，不是我的責任；而愛我的人，也會想讓我快樂。我會努力摸索，直到撰寫出自己的使用說明書，大方遞給你。
這是我更大的體貼。
.
Is it so? I am too thoughtful to be understood.
Never compelling you to do what you dislike, yet often constrained by you, I am thinking if you don't care, or you're just unaware that I don't like it.
Is it because I always restrain myself? Or I just don't understand myself either? I never realized I also need to be cared about, as I always care about you.
Perhaps I am constrained by myself to be thoughtful.
But I am also constrained if I have to be unthoughtful.
It's my nature to be thoughtful for everyone, and I just need to add myself in. Make it a habit to turn you down if needed, and to stop thinking of making you happy as my duty. If you love me, you will hope me happy too. I just need to care about myself more, and to mark a "manual of my heart" for you.
I'm even more thoughtful by disclosing my needs.
.
5 days after Grain Rain: Thriving
KEYWORD
by Singing Wu
by Singing Wu
.
.
.